Illness

Last week, it has been a horrible week. I had been down with a fever for 3 days.. Till now I had not fully recovered from it yet.

Now, it will be coughing and coughing..

I gotten 3 days mc for the fever, fainted in the clinic once while waiting for the nurse to dispense the medicine. Shucks! Thank god, my dad was around to help me. Wheeled into one of the rooms, with a lot of chaos going round.. Recovered from the dizziness and went back home for medicine and rest.

I had not being going to the gym as frequently as I used to due to this fever. I had only been there twice last week and maybe once this week. My whole week schedule is packed with my recent part-time job. I felt guilty about it.

Anyway, I will be back for more gym classes next Monday to compensate on the loss.

Death

Today has been a very bad day.. Bad day as in the sense of bad luck.. I don't gamble or what knots.. but it is really bad..

On my way to the office driving... Yes, I know! I know... I have been driving almost everyday.....I came across a dead carcass.. a brown dog.. smashed with the head flatten, i presumed... Guts all jutted out with blood splurted on the road with clearly visible exposed reddished skin.... Goshed! IT is really disgusting!! Pity and sorrowful..

Not only this, after the dead dog, I came acrossed another carcass. This time is a brown cat, the tail was clearly visible... sheeeshed..

Then, it was last Friday I think.. it was a pigeon.. the head was gone, with the wings spread out flat on the road.. blood spluttered...

Maybe it is the Seventh Month caused a lot of animals accident...
No comment on it.. either the animals are careless, or the drivers are careless or it is their time to leave but in a horrible way....

Rest in Peace!

The end

I had given up on it. No initiative was taken from both. There is nothing more to say. Period.

Life is a lot easier to have it for your self rather than sharing it. Call me selfish if you want to but I couldn't care more. No more headaches, heartaches and sleepless nights.


A new beginning..

Driving

Today is the third day, I drove to work.. Maybe to any other people it is norm to drive to work but not for me. After obtaining my license since 1995, I seldom drive. It had been on and off thing, where I drove once or twice after I graduated from the driving school. I am very scared of driving, i can feel my heart thumpting very fast when I need to drive. My hands turn into icy cold. Iam phobia to drive.

Reason being that I had met an accident when I was 21 or 22. At that time I and a friend just are on the way back from visiting KLIA, at then, the airport was newly built. He was a new driver. Being new, when a white van accidently knock the back of the car, he was shocked and nervous. The car was skidded from left to right lane and from right to left. I was swing from left to right and right to left at that point of time. The car went up to the side pavement and hit the railings. The bonnet and the engine of the car were damaged badly due to the accident. Thank to god, both me and my friend were not hurt. It was a close shaved I would said.

After this accident, I had not been driving till lately..Thank god, I still got the guts to touch the wheel. Sometimes, I still break into cold sweats when I'm driving..

Hopefully, I would be able to conquer my fear of driving soon...

Driving phobia......

Life has been busy

Life has been pretty busy lately...I didn't blog lately.. Joining the gym had taken much of moi time. This leads the gym as my second home..

First home is the "office"
Second home is the "gym"
Third home is the "home"

I had been pretty active that I goes to gym almost every day for the past few months. I started slowly in February. The pace start to pick up in May. I do enjoy my classes. I'm glad that I had become the gym's member at least it take up most of my time. On the contrarary, I don't have to feel bored too... Besides that, I got to know more people there. Get to loose a few pounds, actually more than that. It is a great achievement especially after sweating out in classes like Bodystep, Bodycombat, Bodypump and RPM. What matters most is I love the classes there.. Phew .. Really can sweat it out...

Sooner or later I'm becoming exerciseholics...

New to Exerciseholics... Woo hooo

misintrepretation

I misintrepretated...

Well, life can be that bad .. I cannot imagine if it is really the truth.. I would called it imagination. The imagination is so torturing, what if it is the real thing.. I dare not think of the consequence.

I am trapped in the quicksand. It is too late to pull myself up.. I will wait till it slowly drained me out.

Souless

Love and Hatred

Yesterday night was a difficult night for me. I can't sleep. Tossed and turned throughout the nights.

Today, my feelings for the day had gone from bad to worst... I can feel my eyes swollen from the crying I had. The clouds are gloomy.. The sky look greyish to me.. Everything is so dull and unattractive..

Why must I torture myself??? After all the things I had been through for the passed days. Is it worth the trouble making myself so miserable.

There is mix feelings in me... A sec it is hatred burning in my eyes and another sec, my heart was aching.. How could such feelings exist?? I hate the hatred you had caused me. I hate my love for you as my heart is still there for you... Thinking of you. Hopes where I dare not believed in is still there in me. I pray hard with time can help me to unleash these feelings

Down with missing love. Down with hatred that instilled in me. Love and hate at the same time.

Something missing in life

It had been two days. It felt like 2 years. Time passed by very slowly.

I can feel the emptiness in me. There is something missing in me for the past two days. Tears come and go very frequently. It is a torture waiting. I had been checking my phone, hoping and hoping.. for something.....but still it is all but silence..


It is just the matter of getting used to the emptiness in my heart...I hope the torture will end soon...